Do you know the meaning of the end of year festivities?
At the end of the year, the parties multiply. They are get-togethers with work colleagues, studies, groups of friends, graduations and so on. Not to mention family moments such as Christmas dinner and New Year’s Eve. In these delightful moments, we have a good laugh, exchange gifts and remember moments of overcoming.
However, for some people, the end of the year can generate feelings of mourning and sadness, especially for families who no longer have their loved ones present at the table.
What’s the best way to go through grief at parties, with family?
Psychology’s knowledge about grief and how to deal with difficult feelings, such as the pain of longing, help us to go through the characteristics of this phase. Based on these, here are some considerations:
1. If possible, keep the celebrations, preferably simple and light. Some families have suffered the loss of their loved ones, it is likely that not everyone will be able to maintain a celebration similar to what they did before. But if that possibility exists, don’t give up on it. As much as sadness causes an impulse of isolation, the function of this impulse is to help understand the fact that caused the sadness. In the case of grief processes, this processing is best done in the company of those who are going through the same thing. Depending on the stage of grief, it is time to also honor and honor those who have departed. It is time for the family and support groups to promote acceptance through the memories that remain and will never be forgotten.
2. Allow yourself to notice the loss, talk about it, talk about the feelings it produces. Talking about it with people who share this feeling is a balm: at the same time that it relieves suffering, it helps us to strengthen family relationships. Make room for those conversations, those memories, and those sharings in your festivities. Frames with images of the person who died or other elements that refer to the person, in addition to creating opportunities to share memories and feelings, also work to make that person “present” in different ways.
3. At the same time, create strategies so that everyone can respect their own pace. “Escape” spaces, such as a room further away from the venue, a quieter porch, some refuge in the backyard, where people can be if they want to be alone for a few moments. These are attitudes of empathy and compassion that generate well-being among family members, as each one, in their own time, has the opportunity to express themselves with the freedom they see fit.
What is the best way to practice welcoming during visits to cemeteries?
1. It is important that work teams are prepared to welcome families in a true and excellent way, providing people with an environment of “embrace” and good memories.
2. Actions must be done subtly, with respect, empathy and compassion.
3. It is time to sympathize, take care of pain and longing.
4. The physical structures must be prepared with regard to the organization, cleaning and maintenance of the site, in all aspects, thus providing lightness and well-being to the environment.
5. Because it is a festive season, with many people traveling during this period of the year, some actions such as sending virtual messages, broadcasting live ceremonies, buying and sending wreaths will allow farewells and tributes even from a distance.
All of the above items, combined with a clear purpose of care and welcoming, will provide an ambience of transformation, whether in simple places or with a more refined structure. The people who will act must be committed to the pain of others and will need to understand that they are generators of life, making all the difference at the time of visits.
We at Adiaŭ are committed to enabling the inclusion of all people from a distance and providing a welcome without borders, through companies in the funeral sector that have our technology for live transmission of wakes. In any situation of farewell or care, we provide and facilitate the connection between families and friends, always worrying about others and allowing people to be present, even if they are anywhere in the world.
Caring about people’s pain in a true way shows our essence and the real meaning of life!
* Original text – Psychologist Tatiana Perecin.
Adapted by Stael Veiga.
